A Policeman’s Lot

The old adage says a policeman’s lot is not a happy one but that is not the impression given to a large U3A audience on 19 September as Alan Rogers had it in stitches with anecdotes of his time in the Warwickshire police.

Alan started with tales of stopping motorists for exceeding the speed limit. One lady blamed her Marks and Spencer’s shoes. An 88-year-old Hell’s Angel doing 130mph on the A46 was let off with a caution because he had just sold his bike and was having a last fling! Unfortunately for Alan the 88-year-old subsequently wrote to the Chief Constable thanking him for Alan’s leniency. When Richard Wilson (One Foot in the Grave) was stopped, his first words were (of course) “I don’t believe it”

Alan told us about the time he himself was caught doing 32mph in a 30mph zone and was invited to attend a speed awareness course that he had written!

Apparently Alan had harboured no ambition to join the police although his parents had other ideas. He was raised on a diet of Dixon of Dock Green and Z Cars. Alan was a reluctant cadet when he joined up at the age of 15 but he soon cheered up when he was sent on an outward bound course in Wales as he loved outdoor activities and he was even more impressed when he was sent to St Tropez. Whilst failing to meet Brigitte Bardot he found plenty of ‘wannabes’ on the beach.

Nevertheless Alan still hankered after a childhood ambition to be a professional footballer for his beloved Aston Villa. In fact he played for Evesham United and Worcester before moving to Wolverhampton Wanderers as a promising goalkeeper. It was here that he was introduced to his childhood hero and legendary goalkeeper from England’s 1966 World Cup winning team, Gordon Banks. Wolves wanted Alan to sign for them but his father persuaded him that the police force was the better option.

Alan became an experienced and respected officer with Warwickshire Police. He was too modest to mention it but he was awarded an MBE for services to the police and for his charity work. Throughout this time Alan’s wicked sense of humour did not desert him as many police recruits could testify. He and his colleague played many a trick on the trainees such as getting a hospital porter to pose as a deceased, jumping up and terrifying the trainees when they visited the morgue for the first time. Current day human resources personnel would not be amused!

Alan intimated that if he had his time again, he is doubtful that he would have chosen to join the police. Perhaps he still dreams of a brilliant football career? If so, football’s gain would have been the U3A audience’s loss as they would have been deprived of an extremely amusing talk. As one person put it “I have not laughed so much for ages”. Everyone wanted Alan to visit again and continue his reminiscences. Happily he has agreed to do so.

Thank you Alan for a brilliant afternoon.

The next meeting will be on Tuesday 17 October at Wulstan Hall with an illustrated talk by Catherine Jones about the Isle of Man between 1914 and 1945. New members will be very welcome.

BRUCE WILSON