It was the 50th ever episode of Gogglebox and by jove was it a good one.

Grand National

We started with Saturday’s Grand National and June was a bit surprised when the horses started running – but Leon quickly calmed her nerves when he told her that was supposed to be happening.

Steph and Dom were immediately a bit unlucky as one of their horses went out, and they handled it in the pangry way only they could. That’s posh and angry for anyone not down with the lingo.

Everyone got excited whenever the name of a horse they recognised was said and they all winced in unison whenever anyone fell. It was just like being at home.

Sandra’s horse was the big winner, and after all the effort she put into watching it we would have to say that the win was deserved.

Britain’s Got Talent

Leon wasn’t overly thrilled with the prospect of watching Britain’s Got Talent, mainly, it seemed, because Simon Cowell’s a “twat”.

There was also concern from some of the families about just how much, or little, time off that ITV are giving Ant and Dec.

Everyone was stunned by the dude who was spinning a woman around whilst he was on roller-skates, with comments such as “that’s enough now, that’s enough” from Giles and Mary.

By the time it got to a talking dog, everyone was won over. Genuinely everyone – even Simon Cowell by the looks of things. Sadly, much like life itself – it was all a lie.

University Challenge

Everyone was dreaming of the feeling getting a question right on University Challenge would give them, but Scarlett was just shocked that the contestants didn’t receive any money or “a dictionary or nowt” for winning.

A few of the Goggleboxers were getting things right, but more often than not they were a bit shocked at all the crazy stuff those strange people in the telebox seemed to know.

It was proof that people from Cambridge and Oxford may as well be from other planets.

As an ad break approached, people had a question.

2,000 tattoos, 40 piercings and a pickled ear

Here we met an extreme body-modifier, who spent more than £40,000 on tattoos. Scarlett was thinking of the shoes that could have bought, while when Sandra heard his eyeballs were tattooed she almost scratched out her own with her talon-like nails.

The words “his penis is blue” were said more in 30 seconds of TV than they will be in the next 30 years. Mary had an essential question for the man with the blue penis.

His legal name was actually Body Art, and he had cut off his nipples and KEPT THEM IN HIS FREEZER. This was too much for, well, everyone.

SNP party political broadcast

Giles wanted to know where the kilts and bagpipes were at. Meanwhile, Scarlett got straight to it and asked why they weren’t showing us any policies, instead of just the “stereotypes”. After that she said they were going to spend £1 million looking for the Loch Ness Monster.

The news

ITV did a segment on sand from the Sahara polluting the air in the UK. Naturally this confused a lot of people.

But there was also a strange, unrelated theory about a future episode of Gogglebox during this segment.

Conservatives party political broadcast

This tweet seemed to sum up Twitter’s thoughts on it.

While June and Leon were mocking David Cameron’s Eton roots, and the Moffatts were discussing his forehead/hairline.

Giles was concerned about the beads of sweat beginning to show on Cameron’s upper lip… “it suggests duplicity”, he said, in that way only Giles can. He was also worried about the NHS having to deal with dropped babies.

Jenny and Lee liked the message. “You would want all that… so why aint he done it in the last bastard four years?”

Game of Thrones

Steph was so excited her “nipples have gone” and Dom was so excited he didn’t even ask where.

Scarlett and Giles were shouting “bend your knee!” at the TV, and there was much debate around the Goggleboxers’ homes about whether he would in fact bend his knee. Eventually he was made to. It was all a bit much for June – and the poor bendy-knee man hadn’t even been burnt alive yet.

By the time Khaleesi made it onto the screen, everyone was engrossed. Even Leon, who had no idea what was going on. Giles was very convinced by the dragons, but questioned why she didn’t just tell them to “heel”.

And the Malones were concerned about what would happen if their own dog, Dave, ever turned on them like that.

It all ended with Sid comparing Game of Thrones to Harry Potter and Baasit putting him in his place.

Then, as quickly as they appeared, the Goggleboxers were gone.